I own you.

23 Apr

I had posted a “quick” update awhile ago here, but I really wanted to explain our homestudy for those who have been asking. The homestudy is probably the most involved part of the adoption…so far.

The outside of our tiny 1188 sq. ft. condo. 

With our massive paperwork, Jeremy and I each had to write a 6-10 page autobiography on ourselves. It was tedious.

As our homestudy interviews approached, we spent some time talking to Lil’ B about adopting. To be honest, I really didn’t want to explain it to him so early at first. Mainly because, at 6 years old, he doesn’t have a concept of time yet and the Philippines program (which at that point, we were still in) is a 2+ year process. I didn’t want to tell him today that he might have a lil’ brother or sister, then it not happen for 2 years. But we knew the case worker would be asking Lil’ B some questions and we felt it was best to prepare him for it.  Lil’ B’s mom is well aware of us planning to adopt; we told her about it last summer and she has been very supportive with our decision. In fact, she even wrote one of our referral letters for us. <3  I’m not sure how much she had been telling/explaining to Lil’ B, but I assume she might have said something to him.

One evening as Lil’ B and I were veggin’ on the couch, watching TV, some commercial about babies came on.
Out of nowhere, Lil’ B says. “I want a brother”
Me: “I know, hun. You know daddy and I are adopting a brother or sister, right?”
Lil’ B: “Yeah.”
Me: “Do you know what adoption means?”
Lil’ B: “That they don’t have an owner yet”

Owner. He said owner. Ohhh I laughed.

Me: (trying to contain my laugher) “Well…it means that those kids don’t have a family and we’re going to adopt a brother or sister and they will be apart of our family.”
Lil’ B: “Ohhh. I don’t want to know where babies come from.”
Me: (still laughing): Well, one day you’ll want to know”
Lil’ B: I don’t want to know where babies come from” (saying it a bit firmer)
Me: When you’re ready to know, you can come ask me, your dad or your mom.

Ohh…trying to explain it on a kids level…not easy!

When the case worker came to our house for a 3 hour interview. Yes…3 hours. She mainly asked us questions pertaining to our autobiographies; things that she just wanted to verify or have us elaborate more about. She asked us a lot about our relationships with our families and how our parents treated us growing up. Of course, she also asked Jeremy and I questions about each other; our personalities, our likes and dislikes and how we handle our anger. She asked Lil’ B about 2 or 3 questions; if he wanted to be a big brother, if he’d rather have a brother or sister, questions appropriate for a child to answer. And then Lil’ B gave her a tour of the house (which lasted a whole 5 minutes or less).

Spare room/Computer room…which will eventually be our new lil’ one’s room

After the homestudy interviews, the case worker writes a whole report on you. It pretty much lists everything anyone could ever know about you, your finances, your childhood, every school you ever went to, your family, your reasons to adopt…everything. Our report was about 14 pages long. No kidding.

AND that’s where we’re at now. We’re waiting for our agency to “re-write” our homestudy. Our original homestudy was specific to the Philippines, so now they have to take out any reference to the Philippines and replace it with Korea. Also the “Child Conditions” form (the hardest form to ever fill out; it lists just about every medical condition a person could be born with and we have to say if it’s something we can handle or not) is different for the Korea program than the Philippines, so we had to re-do that paperwork, since there is a section in the homestudy that lists what you are able to accept and handle medically. Once we receive our *new* homestudy, we fill out the I-600A form, send it in (with our homestudy)….and then we are on the wait list. woot, woot!

Anyone adopting read my blog? How did you explain to the kids in your family (whether they be sons, daughters, cousins, nieces, nephews or other) about your adoption?

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2 Responses to “I own you.”

  1. Christina April 23, 2011 at 11:02 AM #

    So happy our blogs have ‘connected’! we have a bunch of adopted children in our extended family and immediate community. we have always explained to our children that there are pretty much two ways to get a baby…one way is from the hospital (hospital babies) and the other is to take an airplane (airplane babies). We explain to them the often ‘hospital babies’ look quite a bit like their parents while often ‘airplane babies’ have different coloring in their eyes/hair/skin. i was happy to have this already explained when we started our process…we just told our ‘hospital babies’ that we’re getting an ‘airplane baby’ and that was good enough for them, lol!

  2. DG June 10, 2011 at 10:54 AM #

    Hey! I just found out that you are planning on adopting too. We’re just getting prepared for our homestudy now. We looked into International, but plan to do domestic transracial.

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